If you have not yet read the preceding parts, you should start at the beginning.
Part 4: Escape
The ground fell away from me and disappeared into nothingness like overhanging cliffs sometimes do in Sonic the Hedgehog. My conception of myself fell away too so that what was left was only the essence of me that existed outside of matter. I now consisted of pure energy. I was shapeless and formless, and my world was an empty grey void, outside of space, stretching to infinity in every direction.
Immediately I was struck with a conviction that this was the universe in its true state. The world I had previously known was a false facade whose detail and complexity concealed the beauty and simplicity that lay beneath. I did not know how the false world had came to be, and what had caused me to become stuck inside it for so long, but I was not troubled by my lack of knowledge. I felt powerful, and under no pressure to find answers to those questions. Since I no longer had a body, I was impervious to harm. I could take as long as I wanted to puzzle through the mysteries of the universe, and in time, I would know all there was to know.
I calmly surveyed the shapeless void that surrounded me. I wondered how I would occupy myself in my new state of existence. This question confused me momentarily, since in a world outside of time and space, my options seemed limited. My doubts were swept aside however when the answer came to me in a flash - I would spend my time in pure contemplation. Yes! And then everything would become clear. As I formed that thought, the rightness of the answer was proven, and the subject for contemplation was determined. The beautiful synergy of that moment hinted at the kinds of satisfaction I could expect to feel following achievements from now on. Encouraged, I settled in, emptied my mind of clutter, and let my thoughts show the way.
I pondered whether one could be happy and fulfilled, if one had no means of sensing or acting on the outside world. I phrased the question in my mind that way, implying that the 'outside' world existed, only because I had pondered the question in my previous life. Then I had been thinking of what fulfillment would be possible for a person permanently locked inside a sensory deprivation tank. I felt that that situation was analogous to my new situation, even though at this point I was convinced that the world I had known was an illusion of some sort. I felt a vague sureness that I would eventually discover how to use my mind to shape that illusion, and maybe even to conjure an illusory world of my own. But for now, since I had not yet discovered a method, the isolated fulfillment question applied to me directly, and finding an answer was of prime importance.
I was deep in contemplation when my thoughts were interrupted by a voice. I listened. Here was an historic moment. Here was proof I was not alone in this new world outside of space. I was relieved. Happiness and fulfillment have always seemed more easily achievable when I have been part of a community, and so I was eager to meet my new peers. I wondered what rules of etiquette governed meetings between super-intelligent pure energy beings when they bumped into one another while traversing the ether. Whatever would be expected of me, I decided, the entity I was about to meet would understand and accept my present ignorance.
I willed myself toward the voice, and in no time, with no effort, I had bridged the gap. The entity spoke. "Tom! Can you hear me?" I could. I could hear and understand the message perfectly. I even recognised the voice. It was welcoming and benevolent, and it was my old friend Dunric. So, Dunric too had crossed into the ether. His mastery of communication by thought impressed me, but did not surprise me. Time worked differently here. Although I figured we had both left the old world at approximately the same time, if Dunric had arrived slightly earlier than I had, in that time he may already have experienced many lifetimes worth of learning.
The question posed by the entity named Dunric had so far been left unanswered. I figured a response of some sort was appropriate, so instinctively I tried to mouth something in reply. But of course, I had no mouth. I had not yet learned to speak in this new world dominated by thought. The entity named Dunric may have inferred from my silence that I was not yet ready to communicate, or he may have left me for a purpose beyond my comprehension. Whatever the reason, his essence dissolved back into the ether, and again, I was alone.
I returned to my ponderings. Long and hard I pondered, but however much my pure energy brow would furrow, I could not find the answer I sought. The secret to whether happiness was possible for one with no means of sensing or acting on the outside world, continued to elude me. My thoughts went something like this: If one was expecting to rejoin the outside world sometime in the future, one could imagine his future and plan his actions in it. The formation of a plan is in itself an accomplishment, and accomplishments bring happiness. But if one was permanently isolated, there would be nothing to plan for. What would be the point in thinking about anything? Then again, what made accomplishments in the outside world any more valuable than conclusions reached in isolated thought? Our only awareness of the outside world is via our senses, and via our brains, which can sometimes override our senses. The outside world is thus indistinguishable from isolated thought in a very real sense. My mind kept going round in circles. For a super-intelligent pure energy being, I was beginning to seem a little retarded.
My lack of progress allowed nagging thoughts I'd been suppressing to break through into my consciousness. The events I have described began to seem a bit too coincidental. It was time for a recap. In my last clear memory of my previous life, I had met with a group of friends and we had consumed magic mushrooms. Then, a series of strange events had occurred, that culminated in, by some process I did not understand, my own escape from the material world, into a new world outside of time and space. Hmm... First the magic mushrooms, then the new world outside of time and space. There now seemed a distinct possibility that the two events were linked.
What if I had never left my previous life, and all my strange experiences were just hallucinations induced by the mushrooms? That explanation was overwhelmingly depressing, and I fought hard against accepting it. My new existence as a pure energy being had seemed so simple and so compelling, and my old life and existence so absurdly complicated by comparison, that I clung tightly to my new belief. Accepting that the mushrooms were the cause of my strange experiences would also mean losing the amazing powers of thought I was convinced I now possessed. That made me even more reluctant to face the truth. Eventually, I yielded. I resigned to the fact that I was not a super-intelligent pure energy being, and that my strange experiences were due entirely to the effect of the mushrooms.
To be continued...
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